Should I be Selling Pizzas?

I want you to go to a mirror and make a mean face. Come on, now: mean face. Growl, snarl, tell me, without using words, that you mean business! Pound your chest, guys. Ladies, do one of those nasty hand gestures. Holler, scream, make me go away. OK, some of you! Great -- some, OK, and some, well, nice try.

My point is that we all have a certain level of aggression we're comfortable displaying or even mustering. No big deal. We're all different. I just read a story in the paper about a pizza delivery guy in Tampa who, when confronted with an armed robber, threw his pizzas at the guy and hauled butt. He was shot at but the guy missed. Wow! That's guts, I thought. How would I have reacted?

I'm sure I'd have coughed up the cash and played it from there. Or would I have? I really think each situation is different and our reaction could also be different in each situation.

I wish there were an easy formula that could fit all of us. Hey, you're this, so you're a pepper spray. You act like this, so here's a stun gun for you. Hmm, soccer mom, must be a Taser.

But that's not how it works.

Here's my take and what my website has to offer: First, the Paul Vunak video will teach you eight simple moves that will absolutely surprise the heck out of anyone threatening you. No weapons, no special training, no muss no fuss. I don't know why more people don't learn these simple moves.

OK, so you're a non-aggressive soul. That's fine but that doesn't mean "victim." Get a personal alarm and after you get it, make sure everyone you know knows exactly what it sounds like and to come running when they hear it. This has worked since the dawn of time.

And all points in between.

Self Defense Products work, but so do hot pizzas hurled in a fury. Pepper sprays, stun guns, Tasers, learning some simple but effective self-defense moves, all work. Being safe starts with an awareness of your surroundings and having a plan when the "boink" hits the fan. Then, choose your weapon or weapons. Get good and practice defending yourself. And hats off to the pizza man.

The Zen Of Pepper Spray

OK, where is it? What did you do with it? Is it in the junk drawer, under the car seat, or maybe it's in laundry-hamper purgatory. I'm talking about your pepper spray. You were serious when you bought it a few months ago, but for some reason you are no longer "on alert."

Wrong!

Pepper Spray is a serious and effective non-lethal self-defense weapon that's easy to carry and use. So, if you have some, go find it and rekindle that relationship. If you don't have any, get some. It's cheap.

I'm going to teach you some Pepper Spray 101. It's not rocket science.

Ever touch a jalepeno pepper and rub your eyes? Multiply that times a zillion and that's pepper spray. Pepper spray is an inflammatory agent. Here's what happens: Eyes clamp shut; dilating capillaries cause temporary blindness; lungs become inflamed, causing uncontrollable coughing, which restricts all but minimal breathing. You get the picture. The stuff works.

Pepper spray is sometimes called OC (oleoresin capsicum) spray. Its strength is measured in Scoville units. For comparison, consider that a Scotch Bonnet pepper is rated at about 300,000 Scoville units. Most pepper sprays are between 1 million and 3 million -- yes, million -- Scoville units. In other words, OUCH!

No matter which size Pepper Spray, or what type spray pattern, one thing is crucial: You need to hit your target in the face. In the face -- in the face -- in the face! Got that?

Pepper Spray does you no good at the bottom of your purse or anywhere you can't get to it quickly -- and I mean quickly. Keychain models are popular for this reason. So, practice getting to your spray quickly, wherever you like to carry it. Yes, I said practice.

When you feel threatened or sense a problem , get ready, but don't "show" the spray too quickly. Your actions should be determined by the threat you feel.

When it's time to shoot, your object is to surprise and STOP your target. Get into a slight crouch, if possible. Put out your non-shooting hand and shout "Stop!" loudly. Bring the spray to eye level, about 10 inches or so in front of your chin, and aim for the face and head. Practice this, too. Yes, again, practice.

Now, get out of there! That's the whole point of Pepper Spray. YOU NEED TO GO! MOVE! NOW! No sympathy is allowed either. They'll be fine. It's not lethal.

That's the textbook version. Practice scenarios in your mind or with a partner. Yes, I said practice. You'll then be competent and confident with Pepper Spray and you'll always want to have it nearby.

So, next time I ask you "Where is it?" show me, quickly. Just please don't spray me.